A Letter To My Daughter On Heartbreaks,




The first time you complained a little too much about the boy who made fun of your braces and at the same time took a few minutes longer to get ready to school, I knew that you were smitten. I don’t think either of us remember his name right now. And that is precisely what I want you to recall every time a boy breaks your heart. This too shall pass.

The first time you fell off a bicycle, you didn’t break into dramatic tears. You brushed the dust off your knees and marched on because you all you wanted to do was ride a cycle. And I wish you can look at life like that. There is an adventure around every corner.

I have always treated you like a woman who knew what she was doing but I have always looked at you as a little girl with pigtails. I knew you were too young for your first day at school. I knew you were too young for your first sleepover. I knew you were too young for your first lipstick. I knew you were too young for your first drink. And to me, you will always be too young for a heartbreak.

Trust me, despite your denials and fake enthusiasm, I know when you are broken. I know from the way your spoon makes circles on a plate that is filled with your favorite dish. I know from the way you rush back to your room every time I bring up his name.

It doesn’t matter if you  say “No, I was not crying”. Remember, my job was to understand you even before you started speaking?

I want to tell you so much about love, life and boys, but I know that you are going to roll your eyes at the uncool mom and call the best friend. I wish I could tell you that she gives really stupid advice but we both know that would mean war.

As much as I want to protect you from storms, I know that you are a rainbow that shines amidst dark clouds.  I know that you need to see the world, but more than that, the world needs to see a star like you. 

I will tell you that heartbreaks make you grow. I will lie to you when I tell you that you won’t even remember his name in a few years but I sure as hell will mean it when I say that he didn’t deserve you in the first place.

You will brush me off and not believe these words for a very long time, but the day will come when you finally realize that your mother was right. And on that day, you will call me and ask me where I got all the calm and wise from.

And that is the day I will let you in on my secret. The day when I know that you have healed enough to listen to this from me and laugh.

I only stayed calm because you were huddled in my lap, exhausted from all the crying.

But believe me when I say that it was not just daddy, but also mommy who really wanted to kick his ass.  

Published by Nandhitha Hariharan

Fiercely feminist and Hopelessly romantic - I oscillate between writing about the world around me and articulating what is going in my head.

4 thoughts on “A Letter To My Daughter On Heartbreaks,

  1. Loving your writing…….
    Mums have a way of knowing…
    Good luck as always…
    Hope the book will be out this year 🙂
    Keep smiling – keep writing 🙂

  2. This is the very first post of yours’, that I’m reading!
    I can’t wait to get through the end if it!
    It’s just amazing!
    The way you’ve worded every single line, made me connect to my mom easily.
    And it’s so true, whatever you have written makes so much sense!
    Edit – second para, third line!
    *because all you

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