A Letter to the Girl Who Is Dating My Best Friend

I know you are intimidated by me. And, guess what?

 It is OK to feel that way.

I know that it bothers you when you know that I am part of almost every memory he has, both good and bad. I know that he tells you stories from his life that always seem to involve me. I also know that you wonder if he is not telling you the entire story.

You wonder if we kissed and you wonder if there was a weak moment after a few drinks.

I will not tell you that you are being completely delusional because he is an attractive guy.

Believe me when I say that it takes a lot for me to call him attractive considering we’ve had “who can eat the most pizza and burp loudly” competitions which are a sure shot way to destroy sex appeal at its very roots.

But then again, he could break up with you but he is stuck with me for life.

It scares you because we have seen each other grow up. I am present in the most important pictures of his life long before he knew how you looked like.

 I will try my best not to act with that arrogance but forgive me if sometimes the smugness creeps in.

I know that you fell for his confidence and charisma and the way he walked up to you with an air of sophistication around him.

But I was there when he rehearsed this a hundred times and failed miserably.

I love how you frown a little bit when you discover that he smoked because I know that good girlfriends are supposed to do such things or whatever.

However, it makes me laugh because it takes me back to the time when he coughed his way through his first cigarette after which he fanned the smoke away with animated hands and cried like a little girl while I patiently got through my third one.

Sometimes we will burst out laughing without meaning to at the most random things.  We will always have our inside jokes and inappropriate quirks but these are not meant to offend you.

As much as you want to believe otherwise, these jokes are not always my subtle way of showing you that I know him better.

But sometimes, they are. I am just a bitch like that and I derive a little sadistic kick out of making you squirm with discomfort.

Handle it with grace and we might even become friends.

I will probably be the best man at his wedding and I will definitely be invited to his bachelor party.

 Actually, scratch that. I would probably be the one throwing him a bachelor party. 

I know that it is difficult for you to see  a million happy pictures of us which serve as a constant reminder to the times which no matter what, you can never be a part of.

I wish I could console you but being the person I am, I am going to tell you something that would probably make you downright miserable.

Pictures can hardly capture the times we stood up for each other through failed diets, psycho relationships, teenage, puberty and failures. 

I know you think that we flirt with each other because I always seem to laugh just a little louder and flip my hair just a little more when I am around him. I frankly don’t see why it should bother you because there are bigger things you should worry about.

Like the fact that I can eat an entire bowl of pasta with my hands and lick them while making slurp noises around him knowing fully well that he will never say “That is disgusting”, partly because I am his best friend and partly because, well, who are we kidding? I have seen him do worse. 

I actually wrote this letter to make you feel better, but it has probably helped me climb on top of your hate list. Yeah right. Like that position was not offered to me on a silver platter the day you knew that I was your boyfriends best girl friend.

But, guess what?

I am never going to find out if he is a good kisser.

I am never going to hold his hand and count the stars.

I am always going to be the “other girl” who is just his best friend.

I am also  the girl who has to deal with the fact that our hugs always become a little shorter when you are around.

Whether I like it or not, I am often the third wheel.

My story with him is already written, but I will patiently watch you write a story with him. A story in which he falls deeply in love with you, every single day.

I know that bad Bollywood movies and cheesy romantic comedies will tell you otherwise, but honestly, I am OK with it.

And judging by the way he looks at you, I can tell you that you don’t have much to worry about.

Which is why you should always remember one thing.

I am intimidated by you too.

Published by Nandhitha Hariharan

Fiercely feminist and Hopelessly romantic - I oscillate between writing about the world around me and articulating what is going in my head.

42 thoughts on “A Letter to the Girl Who Is Dating My Best Friend

  1. Well I know be experience, none of this is fiction. Its as real as it could be! Loved it and related to it at every point. But the fact is, Yes the best friend is the woman who will stay, while the girl friend might break his heart and leave. And yes its true for men best friends too. 🙂 Very well expressed!

  2. Lovely….recollects the visuals of VTV scene where simbu describes her.. I’m your long day FB follower who got moved by your word power..Keep up your good work.. 🙂

  3. Fantastic , im on a verge of getting a letter after reading this one !!!! (the way of articulating the incidents is the best part ) ….keep going.:)

  4. Hi nandhitha,
    Today I came across your blog through one of my
    friend. I just read your latest topic. At first I thought
    it as one among the boring blogs that comes under
    the same list as the ” I own a DSLR and am a
    Photographer ” ( No offense). But once I started reading it, I decided to kill myself for adding you in
    that list. Perfect usage of words that helps the
    reader to get connected with the story’s lead
    character. I should say it now, when I got to the End
    I did scroll up to read it for the second time, It’s
    worth it ( Pfft yeah you got me, I didn’t ). Introducing myself, I am Pradheep Subbaiyan
    working as an Assistant film director. Well I am
    working on my own feature film script now. You
    have any ideas about this tamil movie – MAAN
    KARATE ?. I assisted that flick ( I can see your
    reaction changing) 1. If you liked it ( I am saved )
    2. Huh. ( What am gonna do now to make you
    reply ) Guess, mostly you would come under the second
    category. Which made me switch the Introduction
    part to second, to make you read my post fully
    ( That worked ). And thought of speaking with you to get some interesting ideas for my script.
    Even I like narrating stories but I don’t get enough
    time to write it down as blogs. So lets get
    connected to share our ideas.
    – Pradheep

  5. Actually I went into someone’s life while reading this. The way that u have expressed these lines will make everyone to relate or think some of their memories in each line. Great !

  6. I just discovered your blog and I’ve spent half my work day reading it. I love your stuff! Keep doing what you do.

  7. Wow! Its not everyday that u stumble upon something that hits you this deep… Wonderfully captured Nanditha … Doffs hat

  8. I think you’ve probably been through an experience of this sort. It is a beautiful article and you’ve hit the mark with each point. Please do continue writing 🙂

  9. I’ve just been going through your blog and this one is particularly amazing and one that I can relate to. I don’t know you, but your blog is number one on my ‘Favourite’ list. You write SO well, Nandhitha 🙂

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